Do You Value Yourself?

What is self-worth? This is something each person decide for themselves! In my opinion, one’s value is measured by others behavior around and towards them. Do you value yourself?

Here’s a simple example to explain what I mean: If someone did you wrong, but you continue to communicate with them, what message are you sending? Well, basically you are telling this someone, it is OK to do you wrong! Your reaction means you allow them to do it, and so they will.

This might sound harsh, but it is true. One may ask but how can I control how others behave? Simple, you do not. Nevertheless, we alone can dictate how others treat us. How to communicate with us. Respect us and our boundaries. Of course, this does not mean, that we should walk around with a manual and hand it out to every one we meet. However, borderlines should be clear immediately. So if someone does something you do not appreciate, tell them right away. Do not tolerate bad behavior and do not assume that person will realize their mistake on their own. Because, guess what? They will not!

I AM TRYING TO SAVE THIS RELATIONSHIP

Things we say or think to say like: “I want to save this relationship”, “I don’t want to be a failure”, “I cannot make it on my own”, are all illusions. We only believe them to be true, because of our low self-worth. Evidently, such phrases are always followed by tears, anxiety, low self-esteem and depression! Unfortunately, these relationships are not only worthless but also toxic! In my opinion, saving such a relationship is senseless. Your genuine attempts will always be deemed obsolete. A sacrifice which no one has asked for, nor anyone is going to appreciate, so why? Honestly!

Believe me, that person will not think twice, and will not even blink an eye before they decide to hurt you again. Simple fact, if you let it happen once, it will happen again. And even when you finally decide to step up and show your self-worth, demand respect and apologies. They will not take you seriously. Of course, they will apologize, but that does not mean they will change their behavior towards you. What could be worse, is that they will gaslight you. And make you doubt yourself, make you feel as if everything is all your fault.

MANIPULATORS HATE BOUNDARIES

What is more, they might actually accuse you of being irrational, nervous or angry. They will always use a phrase like: “You have changed” or “Where is all this coming from?”, “This is not you talking”. Or better yet, they will try to convince you that you imagined it! That what you think happened did not happen. Total denial of what you know is an absolute fact. This is how they twist your sense of reality and try to control you.

Eventually, they will convince you that you are asking for too much, that you do not deserve what you are asking! They will try to reverse the blame on you to the point where you begin to feel guilty. In fact, instead of receiving an honest apology, you will end up apologizing to them!

Because when a manipulator, a narcissist has already violated your boundaries, they will expect to be able to do the same all the time. They sincerely believe that it is their right. And any opposition after that, will have no force.

VALUE YOURSELF AND SAVE YOURSELF

You do not need to save the relationship. You need to save yourself. It is necessary to end toxic relationships immediately. Show your self-worth by leaving. Do not accept any excuse, or blame it on accidents, coincidences, misunderstandings, hard life… and so on. Because your boundaries are being violated with the sole goal of turning you into a puppet. This is not by accident.

Yes, life is hard but it does not give anyone the right to ruin someone else’s life. It is as simple as that. If someone hurts you, it is not a coincidence, it is not a misunderstanding. It is an action taken and it is a decision that they made.

Here is the truth that you should always remember: If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, then it is a duck.

YOU DESERVE TO SURROUND YOURSELF WITH GOOD PEOPLE

Understand this, a good person cannot act foully. This is impossible even by accident. If a good person does a bad thing, they will not only be embarrassed by it, but their conscience will not allow them to stand idle. They will immediately realize what they have done, and will compensate for their behavior in every way they can.

When you learn to immediately end toxic relationships, you will find good people. Mainly, because when you accept this fact, as a rule of life, only good people will reach out for you. Good people, who also have borders that are outlined clearly. And then, heartaches will no longer keep you up at night. And predators will no longer be able to ruin your life.

Do not settle for less than what you deserve. Value yourself, uplift your spirit and improve your attitude towards your self. Find your purpose. Regain your value.