Sigmund Freud once said: “Illusions commend themselves to us because they save us pain and allow us to enjoy pleasure instead. We must therefore accept it without complaint when they sometimes collide with a bit of reality against which they are dashed to pieces.” There are many illusions that prevent us from living the life we desire. The following illusions, limiting beliefs, are amongst the most common.
1- THE ILLUSION OF IMMORTALITY
We do not like to think about death because it scares us. So, we put off thoughts about it. And try to forget that it is inevitable. In fact, this is natural for the human psyche. But the result of this behavior is predictable. People are sure that they have a lot of time ahead. As a result, they assume they will start “to live” later. They put off their goals and plans, till something particular happens.
For example, you might find yourself saying something like this:
“I will be happy, when I get a raise.”
“I need to get married, then I can enjoy life.”
“Now, if I have a baby, everything will be fine.”
“As soon as the baby grows up and goes to school, I will live a full life.”
And so every day we put off life for later. Happiness is like a ghost that always flashes somewhere ahead, we are waiting for this day, and our life passes. Feel free to add yours in the comments below.
ADJUSTING OUR PERCEPTION
When we realize that life is short, we will learn to truly appreciate all that it gives us. There is so much good around, you can already rejoice. Squinting from the gentle sun, breathing in the fresh frosty air, petting your cat or dog, happiness is already with you. It is already there, you can already enjoy it, right here and right now. You don’t need to wait till you get rich, lose weight, make a career or get married.
This also applies to relationships with people. You can spend time quarreling, if you have too much of it. But when you realize how limited time actually is, you will value every moment. If we could only manage to return to childhood and hug those who have not been around for a long time. How much love they would have to give. Many of us still have a grandmother, mother and other close family and still have this chance. But imagine they suddenly were gone! So, call them or visit while they are still nearby, express your love, because no one can ever replace loved ones.
2- THE ILLUSION OF OWN OMNIPOTENCE
Many of us are confident that they can control everything in their lives. They assume everything goes according to their plan. However, this is also just an illusion. Man is far from omnipotent. There are thousands of things that we cannot control. It is unnecessary to take on an unbearable burden of responsibility. There is not a single person, who can foresee all future events, or be responsible for everything that happens. It is worth understanding and accepting this fact. Once we do, life becomes much easier.
Some things in life depend on us, but we have no influence on many things. Therefore, we should accept them for what they are. Even if you could have acted differently, at some point you stumbled and made a mistake, it also needs to be understood and accepted. The past has already happened, you will not be able to change it. You should not scold yourself or others, just take it for a fact of life. You are only a human, and everyone makes mistakes. Everyone has their own life story.
3- THE ILLUSION OF THE INJUSTICE IN THE WORLD
This might be the hardest illusion to overcome of all illusions that prevent us from living our true life. The world is not built on our ideas of justice and fairness. Although, we have been taught different in our childhood. I still would not deny the fact that justice does exist, it is just that there are so many things we are not yet able to see or realize.
It is important to understand one thing. The world is not subject to the selfish needs of man. Often we think that everyone owes us: friends, acquaintances, relatives, parents. If we believe that in fairness this should be so and so, but this does not mean that we cannot be mistaken. Everything happens as it should be, the world has its own, highest justice, which we simply can not yet see. The most hackneyed, but nevertheless, intelligible example: You were late for the plane, due to traffic jams or for another reason beyond your control.
You worry, scold yourself and others, you are ready to get depressed. Because this trip was important to you. And some time later you receive a message about the plane crash. It turns out that you should have been happy about this turn of events, and not fall into despair. Actually, the same goes for everything else. Many things that seem unfair to us were needed to be that way and we either find out about it later or never get to know why.
SIMPLE YET OBLIVIOUS!
Probably should add the illusion of stability, to the three above. This illusion can really hinder our perception of reality and adaptability to change. All the illusions mentioned here, are simple elementary truths. Unfortunately, we do not see this, we do not understand, and therefore we suffer. These illusions make our life less interesting, passive and unfruitful. But once you manage to overcome the illusions that prevent you from being your authentic self and living your life, you will become much happier.